Illustrations copyright © 2011 by Jameson Simpson Part of being a man means taking responsibility for your actions and facing the possible consequences, whether it’s riding a motorcycle or camping in the wilderness. Many of the activities described in this book could be dangerous or even life-threatening. The publisher and author disclaim any responsibility for any loss, injury, or damages caused as a result of any of the advice or instruction given in this book. All recommendations are made without guarantee on the part of the author or Artisan. All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced— mechanically, electronically, or by any other means, including photocopying— without written permission of the publisher. Published by Artisan A Division of Workman Publishing Company, Inc. 225 Varick Street New York, NY 10014-4381 www.artisanbooks.com Published simultaneously in Canada by Thomas Allen & Son, Limited. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data O’Donnell, Paul, 1961– Man up! / Paul O’Donnell. p. cm. Includes index. eISBN 9781579654702 1. Men—Life skills guides. I. Title. HQ1090.O334 2011 646.70081—dc22 2010039447
Introduction Brand: Me FIRST IMPRESSIONS | DRESSING WELL | THE SOCIAL ANIMAL | THE THINGS WE DO FOR BUDS Necessities HOME ECONOMICS | FEATHERING YOUR NEST | CAR COMPANION Work GETTING THE JOB | ON THE JOB | THE UNIFORM | WHEN BUSINESS MEETS PLEASURE Skills CHORES, REPAIRS, AND FIX-UPS | FIELD, WOODS, AND HIGHWAY | MANLY ARTS | GAMES AND GAMBLING | BUFFING UP | EATING OUT/EATING IN | THE HIGH LIFE Birds and Bees FOREPLAY | GETTING SERIOUS | TECHNIQUE Trouble ON THE ROAD | FISTICUFFS AND HANDCUFFS | LOST AND FOUND Acknowledgments Index
Man up. It’s a challenge to a guy to be his best. Be a man. What does it mean? A man, a guy, a dude is a male of whatever age, shape, or occupation, understood by what he has in common with all other males. That includes a lot of the stereotypes from our grandfathers’ days: A man is decisive, gallant, capable, competitive, rational. He’s adaptable: sometimes he runs with the pack, other times he strikes out on his own; he’s a partner in some situations and a leader in others. He’s a philosopher and a mechanic. He’s a son, a boyfriend, a wing-man, the brains and the muscle, self-sufficient and a man of the world. More than ever, guys are expected to know how to dress themselves, how to throw a raucous party, how to feather their nest for nights at home—alone or with company. Who expects all this of modern guys? These days, guys are expecting it of themselves. What makes all this business of being a guy possible is confidence. With the conviction that confidence is better learned than assumed, I’ve written this book with the help of many tutors. Some are men in my own life: friends, brothers, fathers of friends, bartenders. I’ve talked to state troopers and stunt drivers, brewers, poets, waiters, fashion editors, and salesmen. Not everyone I’ve interviewed is credited—many preferred not to be; some didn’t know their expertise was being sought for the purpose of this book. In any event, there is hardly an entry that comes from the advice of just one person. The tips are broken into chapters according to the situations, expected and unexpected, that guys find themselves in: at work, in a bar, at home in bed, or climbing mountains. I don’t presume to teach everything anyone needs to know about sailing a boat or ordering wine or swimming. Instead I’ve tried to give readers a basic concept to build on, or detailed one skill that, I hope, will transform an everyday activity into an enriching experience. I’ve paid special attention to dealing with difficult situations—from flat tires to a night in jail. There are few hard-and-fast rules in life, but nothing is as difficult as it seems if you know a couple of basic techniques or principles. I don’t guarantee that this book will pull you through every chapter of your life without a scratch, but I hope it will give you the confidence to handle what’s coming next.
Brand: Me FIRST IMPRESSIONS DRESSING WELL THE SOCIAL ANIMAL THE THINGS WE DO FOR BUDS Get a look at your reflection. Not just in the mirror: Take a listen to your phone greeting. Review the last five texts you sent. Check out the clothes hanging in your closet. How you present yourself has a powerful influence on where and how far you go in life. It’s not just how you dress either or what picture you stick on your online profile. You reveal yourself through your table manners, your friendships and how you conduct them, the music leaking from your headphones. Think of every encounter as another expression of the person you want to project, and ultimately want to be: your personal brand. FIRST IMPRESSIONS 1 Which hairstyle is right for me? A guy’s coif should not look like he spends forever lingering over it. Neat or messy, shaggy-locked rock star or buzz-cut Semper Fi, your hair should balance practicality and sheer indifference. Remember looks can be deceiving. Extremely short hair requires frequent barber visits; long hair keeps you out of the barber chair, but means constant shampooing and brushing. And don’t let a Goth’s mess of jet black locks fool you: the dude spends more time swapping hair-dyeing tips than your grandmother. When picking a style, think about how much time you want to budget for hair care, from a little a day to an hour or so once a week. And using the list below as a guide, consider how your hairstyle works with the shape of your head and face.
square faces. Bald is the manly way out if you’re losing your hair, and is much, much better than trying to rock a comb-over. (See page 7.) • BUSINESSMAN’S CUT Conservative but with a little length at the sides, this one’s good for faces wider at the jaw. It’s perfect for the guy who needs to look professional and clean-cut every day, without having to spend too much effort beyond combing it into place. Let your sideburns reach the bottom of your ears, and you’ll be sporting a Jeff Gordon. • BUZZ CUT The shorter you keep your buzz these days, the edgier you look, but you’ll never look less than neat. • CURLS Let them bush out to lend height to a square face or a short frame. Curls can be well groomed—picture Seth Rogen on the red carpet—or out of control—see Seth Rogen in any of his movies. • FADE Nonexistent around the lower tier of your head, with more bulk on top. Ratchet up the ratio and you get a mushroom cut. Caution: too much body up top could end up looking like a fourth-grade bowl cut. • FAUX HAWK Clipped merely short on the sides with a long, shaggy stripe
easy to spike for a wilder look. • LONG AND LAYERED This style can go shaggy and blended for a Justin Bieber look or chunky for an all-American feel. A saltwater-washed version that’s all bangs is called surfer hair. • LONG ON TOP Tidy around the back and ears but something to play with on top, this style adds length to a round face, or—throw in a little hair gunk and tousle it at the front—softens a receding hairline. For extra style, comb it back in a gelled wave for a pompadour. 2 How do I get punk colors? You can install a raging blue, pink, or purple punk hairdo at a tony salon and still retain your street cred. But you can also get Day-Glo to go using professional materials and methods at home. It’s always good to have another pair of hands, so ask a pal for an assist, and follow these steps:
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